Sending mixed signals is a timeless tactic employed by both genders. The next minute, I'll be a little distant. One moment, I'll be affectionate, totally paying attention to you. Here are some aloofness tactics I've tried: My main weakness is my tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve and remain honest with my affection and intentions. The person might wonder, just who is Rich Santos (even though it's clear I'm just a dumb guy who likes the Ravens, Ramen, and chicken tenders.and sleep). In addition to creating "a chase," aloofness creates mystery. I can't seem to get the mix right: I'm either not aloof enough or (when I try to be aloof) I look uninterested. It is this aloofness that I strive to master. I'm attracted to women that are gloriously unavailable.
How (and why) should I act like I don't care about someone that I'm interested in? And just when she is about to give up, he throws another reinforcer at her (likes her pictures on social media, suggests they take a trip, initiates a deep conversation, buys her exotic flowers), and with that, she falls back into the pattern.The most frustrating girl advice is: "act like you don't care."
When the fun ends, she goes back to the work of pulling him out of his shell and trying once again to get his favorable attention. For the woman involved, this feels as if she has hit pay dirt, finally all of her work to know him has paid off! She is beyond thrilled and revels in his special attention and affection. It is similar with emotionally unavailable men even with the “aloofness factor,” every now and again they throw warm engagement, special treats, or romantic gestures to the women who love them. So if sometimes you are given $10 for kindness and other times you are given nothing, you are more likely to act kind in hopes of getting that $10 payout. It turns out intermittent reinforcement is the most powerful way to increase a specific behavior. You would think that if you were reinforced with $10 every time you did something kind for a person, you would do kind acts all of the time. In behavioral psychology, a “reinforcement” is anything that increases the likelihood that a behavior will reoccur. The “aloofness factor”-looking desirable, in control, and yet, not being fully present-that unavailable men carry leaves the observer (typically a woman) feeling she has discovered an exotic jewel of wonder, and it leaves her wanting to come closer and to know more about him.Ģ. They never let anyone see them sweat and so do not get too involved with detailed discussions of logistics or events. This emotional removal is part of their control of all things in their lives. They only interact at the smallest degree necessary for the situation at hand. They manifest a removed energy where they are present in body but not so much in terms of actually interacting with others. They carry an uncontaminated air about them, appearing clean and well-groomed. Whether rugged or preppy, they are well-dressed (and this doesn’t mean dressed up, it means dressed in a manner that is attractive and sexually intriguing to women, usually in quality clothes but with a relaxed, “I do this every day” kind of vibe). They may seem coached in appearing perfectly desirable. They are shiny and beautiful and attract us as a lure beckons a fish. Why are emotionally unavailable men so desirable?ġ.
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